Below is an outline of how to efficiently run your life at the mid-level in high finance. It assumes you’ll be working in the realm of 60 hours a week and you want to maximize… sex and money.
7:15am: Alarm goes off. Check email do 10 push ups, shave, shower and change.
7:35am: You walk out the door with your pre-packed food for breakfast and lunch. Yesterday you set up a news article to go out, anything interesting to send to your team. They assume you are in the office but really you’re on your way to work. Notably, the 25 minute time difference is enough for them to avoid checking in on you, if you show up 10 minutes before people may try and compete with you.
7:50am: You arrive roughly 10 minutes before everyone else and toss food in the fridge. Grab breakfast and eat while taking supplements you need such as fish oil and milk thistle for the massive alcohol binges and begin your day.
8:00am: If you’re a banker this involves meandering around waiting for the staffing meeting where you’re going to be assigned to check some analyst/associate’s work and twiddle your thumbs looking at offering memorandums. If you work in a market centric job, hedge fund or otherwise you’re going to be checking out futures markets, trying to find a catalyst in your space and working on long-term projects. The next four hours involves daily work that we’ve outlined previously. Update models, write notes, do pitch books, attend conference calls and read as much news as possible.
11:30am: Head out to “lunch” and go solo. At this point you don’t need to go to group lunches if you’re established, in two words? Day Game. You already packed your lunch so you walk down to Times Square with food in hand and open up the first 3 girls you see with “Hey where is a good seafood spot around here”. Go direct after 2 minutes and say “Honestly I don’t care about seafood I actually work just over here and thought you were kind of cute so we should hang out sometime”. Get at least 3 approaches in over the next 20-25minutes. Depending on looks you can get 1/6 numbers or so, no problem.
12:00pm: Eat lunch back in the office while doing moderate work. At this point most people now leave for lunch, while they are out grabbing lunch use this time to practice a new language, type up the next post for your blog, read up on investment ideas or simply read a book. A good trick for reading a book is to get PDF copies as well, forward them over and have your fingers hovering over windows and D so you can flip down all your screens while your background shows a fake excel spread sheet.
1:00pm: From now until you leave the office at 6pm or so you’re going to focus on automating as many tasks as possible for work, get ahead on projects and set them up for distribution. Finish all work 2 days ahead and deliver them roughly ½ a day ahead of plan. Always Lower expectations, higher than expected results.
4:00pm: Search out a good interesting article to send to the team and send it out for distribution some time the next morning, begin texting a few girls you’re currently seeing and catch up on your current date pipeline. As soon as you can, leave work for the gym. Leave some work items near by so people believe you are going to come back. Start texting girls in your pipeline, see if any will come through relatively easily.
6:30pm: When you head off for the gym, turn on any sort of music to get you back into spitting game mode. You’re going to talk to at least 3 people while at the gym. You should be friends with the gym rats or staff at minimum. Between sets you can send out text messages and continue racking up dates for the week or weekend. Keep building rapport with the cutest girl you can find in the gym and go for dates/numbers after roughly 3 days.
8:15pm: Swing by the office for protein shake, supplements and all other necessary items.
8:40pm: Walk into your apartment and head straight for the fridge. Chop up juicing material and food for the morning. Throw items into a bag and throw some food in that needs to be microwaved such as baked potatoes and set it up for 7 minutes and 30 seconds. You now have 7 minutes and 30 seconds to shower (you do not have girly long hair).
9:10pm: You walk out of the shower, beeper on the microwave goes off. You pack the rest of your food up and juice. Clean everything up and throw your mason jar in the freezer.
9:30pm: Set alarm clock, you drink a warm glass of milk. Not to be a two year old but because it releases melatonin, you can also take that if you wish. You have 1 hour to read, learn a language or add value to someone else’s life.
10:30pm: Sleep.
Notes:
- No TV or checking media or Facebook. If their opinion actually matters you’d have their cell phone number.
- The 1 day a week you do not work out, you can substitute for a nap and go out on a weeknight for learning a new fun activity (dancing, art, bartending etc.)
- Your iPad/Kindle can be an asset, do not browse through the web, you have a computer at work
- Juicing is done 2 days a week as you have a set of mason jars, more free time
- You will also get days where you get burned by work, make this your new rest day for both juicing and lifting weights, never allow 2 days in a row to break your routine
- No time to complain about life or what you don’t have because you’re busy consuming good information and improving yourself, success is inevitable
- 8:30-10:30pm can also be set up for friends with benefits, mix and match
Conclusion: During a working day alone, you’ll approach and talk to at least 4 women. This does not include your weekends and your weeknight out for fun. You’ll be perceived as hard working at your job at minimum come bonus time, this puts you in an okay position at worst. You’ll consume good information, books, languages and zero clicks on “Yahoo News” or “Fox News”. The last thing to remember is always being happy at work because people have a difficult time giving more work to someone they already like as a person. Psychologically harder to screw over someone you like as a person, even if their work is just “okay”.
