Don’t even know where to begin on this one, but the answer is no. Do we enjoy being single? Yes. Do we believe in bull-shit clap trap “lines” will get people laid? No. You know what gets people laid? Decent looks, cognizant conversational skills, money, a positive attitude and deleting stuff like Facebook from your distant memory. Below is a deeper look into the top 5 issues in leaving the single life style or “player” lifestyle as fat girls will say.
The Aging Argument: Several girlfriends deep the question remains “What will you do when you’re old”. The answer is simple, We’ll die. Alone. Just like the rest of the world. Work in the health care industry and you’ll quickly see that your death can be slow and painful and miserable. On the flip side, if lucky and healthy it can be very simple. The chances are predicated much more on your own health and self regulation than on being “tied down”. Tied down? Shouldn’t it be called living it up? Should be a post of its own.
Weekends: The farmers market, wine festivals, oyster fests, beer festivals, street fairs and so on are enjoyed best… Single. Don’t get this mixed up, an amazing girlfriend is great but its tough to look the other way when being checked out left and right while the wine is flowing. The worst part is possibly when you attend these events with a significant other, it’s a double groin punch. She gets upset if you get caught taking a glance, in addition, you’re surrounded by cute girls. I imagine this is what hell is like. See you there.
Cash: Run the numbers. Assuming you’re an attractive man making a decent living does it really cost more to be single? Recently a spread sheet was run and it turns out the cost is roughly the same. Not quite sure if this means girls are becoming more aggressive or the incredible aloofness actually helps. Either way. The cost of being single ran at $300 per week additional expenses, versus $260 for a relationship. Minimal discrepancy. I’ll fork over the $40 and cut out the bat shit crazy “where are you why didn’t you call back” voice mails. Every time.
Kids: Love them. Want them. Not worth the risk. This day and age men put up every penny they earn post signing the dotted line into a lottery system that says lose on both sides. That 50/50 split? Flip that coin it says you’re fucked, on both sides. Truly believe being a father would be a great accomplishment, but that comes with putting up with nonsense. To be honest, it sounds like the most sound and responsible move is adoption. Better than being broke.
You’re a Misogynist: Cool. Best part is not a single girl (ex-fat ones since they aren’t people) has ever used this word around us. Why? Simply put pretty ones are fun to be around, grounded and not worried about being “one of the guys”. We’re more than happy to pay for dinner here and there and go out on the town, no doubt. The trick? They don’t look like the people taking the escalators at the airport. You know who you are. I’d estimate the body fat percentage to be 3x on the escalator relative to the good old stairs. There is no such thing as “Big and Beautiful”. Kill yourself.
If we’ve missed anything leave a comment we’ll add a paragraph just for you. Look in the mirror, you can’t break it just because it says you’re ugly. There are Gyms out there, some are even open 24/7.. you know better than 7-11.
