So your wing is busy for the night. Your friends are all getting married or are too busy to go out. You have zero people in your phone to contact. Maybe you are on vacation and you are trying to improve your confidence level by stepping far outside of your comfort zone. The solution here of course is to go out alone.
With that said lets go ahead and break down how a man should go out alone, and succeed. If this is your first venture out, ideally you will have some ideas on how to choose the correct venue. Simply put, you will jump around to at least 3 venues on your first night out unless you find a spot that works for you.
Preparation
Before you even head out the door you’re going to need the right set of items to increase your chances of nabbing strong leads. We’ll go ahead and outline this in order of importance:
1) Central Location: Use the under 10 minute rule to decide where you will be staying. Ideally the cab time from your apartment to the venues you will be attending will be between 5 and 15 minutes. With that in mind, the further the distance the more you need to sell. As an example if you live in the Meat Packing District and go out in the Lower East Side, you have a much better chance at convincing someone to join you and continue the night out in the Meat Packing District. If you reverse this and attempt to go out in the Meat Packing District to take someone back when you live in the Lower East Side, you’re now at a slight disadvantage. Simply put keep the distance as short as possible and live in an area with a lot of venues to attend within a short time span.
2) Cash: Assuming your apartment situation is set up the next major factor is going to be your ability to venue change and move around. You don’t need a million dollars to pull this off, but it is wise to intelligently budget out how you will venue change. Start by picking up a simple money clip (feel free to purchase nicer ones) and take out $200 (One Benjamin and five twenties). After that slide your ID and one credit card into the wallet and you’re good to go.
3) Party Favors: Ideally you will roll out with the two best party favors on the planet, but you can also simply leave your apartment with a pack of cigarettes. Don’t bother bringing a lighter since you will ask people for lights outside of the club/bar to continue chatting up new people. Notably, party favors are so much better than smoking that we don’t use them that much, but it certainly works.
4) Wardrobe: The last piece of the puzzle is to dress appropriately. You don’t need to break the bank to dress well, however the better you dress the less questions you will be asked. You need to tailor your outfit to the venues, but a strong global outfit would include a V-Neck T-shirt, Blazer, Slacks and newly shined dress shoes.
Execution
Now that you’re ready to head out the door its time to appropriately choose how you will spend the full night. You will likely go to the following venues 1) Lounge, 2) Bar, 3) Lounge same as lounge 1 or Club. In that order.
1) Lounge: Assuming you’re new to going out alone the best thing to do is attend a lounge near by that gets extremely crowded 2 hours before closing time. This will be your first venue. Go directly to the lounge you have chosen and be sure to avoid taking a taxi, instead take a mode of public transportation and chat to anyone you can on the way there to loosen up. Generally, most guys are uncomfortable going out alone so this will at least force you to speak to people before you even arrive. Once you get to the lounge if you haven’t already convinced someone on the way over to join you, directly order a drink and leave a 50% tip. This seems steep and overall it is not because when you come back the bartender will recognize you and certainly serve you first since you paid in cash as well. Set up in the traffic lane (distance between bathrooms and the bar) and open anyone that walks by. The easiest line in the world is “hey have you been here before” and you can always resort to a white lie that you “just moved here”.
2) Bar: If the lounge is not working out you should have a second venue near by where you will run the same gambit. Leaving a heavy tip in case the night works out and posting up near the traffic lanes. As the night progresses it is generally more acceptable to ask more personal questions and be more direct as inhibition levels decrease. Using the same formula as above you’re going to ask question about the girl’s outfit or facial features. As an example: “Hey you have a lot of cute freckles are you a closet red head?” (tongue in cheek). After she responds “Oh really, have you ever tried connecting all the dots and seeing the picture it makes?”. Generally, for something more direct like this she will either laugh and you’re in or you’ll get continuous flat responses.
3) Lounge/Club: At this point, in roughly 1.5-2 hours the city nightlife should be shutting down and you have to make a decision between returning to the original lounge or attending a night club. This one is up to you, however for illustrative purposes we’ll go with the club.
For running solo, club life is much easier late at night as it seems like your friends “disappeared” and everyone at the event will be drunk. You don’t have to worry as much about the interview process “where are your friends” etc. and you will focus solely on having fun and chatting up at least 5 people within this time frame unless you hit it off with one. Stick with much shorter openers (something as simple as “cheers” and the clink of your glasses has worked in a club setting) and again try to stay in traffic lanes, particularly staircases. The final thing to remember is to keep everything much more simple towards the end of the night as most people are intoxicated and will be unable to handle long-winded conversations (adjust accordingly).
With that said, we encourage anyone and everyone to master the art of going out solo. The vast majority of men will end up settling down, quitting and getting tired of all the effort. Don’t let this be you since the cost of marriage is significant.
