Seeing attrition in finance over multiple rounds of layoffs, firings and people leaving the industry all together, we believe there are really only two types of people who stay in finance beyond a couple of years. They are 1) type A personalities with huge insecurity issues and an obsession with perfection/hard work and 2) type B personality who do not make errors. The end of that statement is huge as type B personalities have much less room for error as they will be perceived as “lazier and stupid”, remember perception is reality. If you try to be type B, remember to maintain a tight rope around the items you send to clients and work you turn in.
The Insecure Wall Street Professional
Terrible General People Skills: This does not pertain to the work environment as they will adjust accordingly after being in the office for 70+ hours a week but if we take them out to a social scene with the general public they’ll stand out like sore thumbs looking uncomfortable, sweating like a pedophile in a day care center. They cannot understand any conversation that does not revolve around the following: investing, recent transactions, items in their sector, personal finance and failure with women. Everything else is completely foreign. Goose bottle service anyone?
Unhappy: The insecure people are not happy as they continue to work through the pain. They hold onto their need for that next bonus check or that next promotion or that next condominium. Think of this as an extreme version of delayed happiness, but since they are extremely insecure, never ask them if they are happy because they’ll go on the defensive.
Shallow to Fit In: If you are an attractive person, you’re setting yourself up to get more interviews and possibly awkward conversations when you start to realize you’re being checked out constantly. Truth. Disturbingly, the insecure professional will do anything and everything to fit in but you’ll quickly notice they are uncomfortable in their own skin. No swag, just a drag. To win the game use something like the following when the lies of hooking up spew out “Wow you’re crushing it! Keep the stories coming!”. Hard sell. Any sarcasm and you’ll be getting BCC’d within the hour.
Stubborn: With a whole slew of stubborn people in one place it is no wonder that the competition heats up as people want to continually prove their opinion to be correct. Therefore, there is a passive aggressive environment in finance and examples will range from a bcc email sent to your boss to throw you under the bus to outright backhanded insults. The last one is the most common and you should be wary of anyone who points out your bad points in “a joking manner” this is the most commonly used tactic. A great example is after you hang up the phone someone will say something along the lines of “Woah someone doesn’t sound too happy today! (fake smile)”
Boring: If forced to spend a month with this employee with no other forms of communication, you’ll likely be depressed. By now you’ve likely seen how this builds on itself, bad normal people skills 1) unhappy 2) explain beliefs based on failure 3) get high from bonus 4) blow money to make up for their lack of pussy and try to get it 5) unhappy due to lack of pussy 6) reiterate belief system… Secular decline.
The Extrovert Wall Street Professional
Keeps a Social Network: By being around many type A’s you’ll resort to your phone… for everything. An extra $100 a month to keep outside contacts is necessary for your sanity. You’ll navigate towards other like minded people in your office and will be somewhat separated from the other type A’s. This is great for your mental and physical health, but awful for your perception. Point two lets you slide.
Error Free: The absolute key here, with all the bcc emails and politics blah blah blah you must be error free. If you make no errors no one can get on your case for going out on weekends and generally being Type B. The real issue here is the Type A personalities aren’t happy so they will feel the difference and leverage that perception to try and get a better bonus. They will try to drag you down, don’t let them. Vocalize that you’ve “never met someone you didn’t like”.
Less Money Saved: Naturally, to maintain your balance you’ll be going out with non-finance people and having fun with your free time. This means you’ll spend the majority of your time networking and avoiding advanced
Believes Money is Very Important: This is the one bond that keeps the environment together, both have a love for making money for very different reasons. One group wants to save to retire, live it up when they are 50+… the other wants to leave a pretty corpse… Hopefully STD free.
Well Liked and Happy: The older people in the group will prefer having this type of worker in the office over the type A, assuming work is error free. People can sense happiness and will certainly move these individuals up the ladder over time. Strike hard during the right years, trying to be the rock star in year one is setting yourself up for disappointment. “Mature” at the right moments to please the Type A’s and after that promote, start that cycle again.
Fun: Overall you’d have no problem going out to drinks with this person, they can hold a conversation and are genuinely happy. The cycle looks like this: 1) great social network 2) perceived as unproductive 3) error free, wins more trust 4) party more and save less money 5) continues to be error free as money is important 6) continues to be happy and outgoing7) larger social network…
Conclusion: While there are always exceptions to the rule and you may have some mixed qualities here, these are the two people who last a long time on the Street. This is the reason why you have two conflicting stereotypes of the unhappy Wall Street Professional and the other extreme of the partiers/womanizers.
You know what to do. Get paid make it rain get on that night train.
