Below is a quick list of questions that will help you decide if you are spending too much time meeting women. Lets go ahead and take the quiz.
1) Are you consuming more alcohol?
2) Are you in worse physical shape than last year?
3) Has your dating life impacted your performance at work?
4) Do you meet potential dates entirely from nightlife?
5) Do you block out more than a few hours a week to meet women?
6) Are you adjusting your schedule to accommodate a new prospect?
7) Will you drive out of town for a date?
8) Has your diet suffered due to your dating schedule?
9) Did you avoid picking up a new hobby or traveling to a new destination at the expense of maintaining your current pipeline of prospects?
10) Are you still counting notches?
If you answered yes to more than three of these questions it’s time to make an enormous change. Going out of your way at the expense of health, wealth and your ego is not going to build the correct foundation for growth. Instead of juggling multiple tasks, do the opposite, allow your dates to simply fill up your schedule as they come in.
You will lose notches. You will lose a few girlfriends. You will also lose a few fun nights. It doesn’t matter.
You should not fake being valuable, you should actually be valuable. It will improve your long-term prospects. Over time you will no longer notice a difference in notches and more importantly high quality relationships.
“If you have to time your text messages, you’re not busy enough” @WallStPlayboys
Common Mistakes:
1) Fitness: We know that time is the most precious resource in the world. With that in mind your health should always come first, above money and certainly above meeting new women. Instead of racking up multiple dates per week, spend your time racking up multiple hours of exercise while picking up a few phone numbers here and there. Think about two different men and how their lives will look over a few short years.
Person 1: Works a solid career and spends his time frequenting a high end gym. The gym costs a bit more but now he is motivated to go 5-7 times a week. In addition, the nicer gym is located in a much better part of town where better looking women reside (follow the money). Instead of skipping the gym, he takes a yoga class once or twice a week and meets one or two prospects every two weeks.
Person 2: Works a solid career and spends his time juggling multiple prospects after work. While he has many important tasks that need to be done, he goes on multiple dates during weeknights which eat into morning production at least once a week. He has a few more dates lined up and ends up picking up a few notches.
Fast forward. The difference between person 1 and person 2 over the course of 3-5 years will be significant. No matter how you attempt to rationalize the decisions made by person 2, he will see an impact to his health. He will no longer be in the best shape of his life and he’ll be forced to change his life to mimic person 1.
The problem? Person 1 is already efficiently running a normal and healthy life. Person 2 is going to go through growing pains by changing the way his life runs.
2) Time Management: How are you organizing your dates? Assuming you’re person 1 in the equation above, are you going out of your way to simply fake being busy instead of actually becoming a busy person? Lets take a look at the difference.
Person 1: Instead of obtaining schedules from the girls he wants to date, he looks at his own calendar and flips through the open slots. Thursday night he is meeting with an important client. Due to this meeting, he is not expected to be in early the next day. In addition, he has strategically allocated a few hours on Saturday night for fun. Instead of asking for schedules from the girls in his phone he simply tells them “Going to be at XXX on Thursday you should drop by”.
Person 2: Since he is more interested in racking up additional notches he asks for multiple schedules from all prospects. He finds that he can obtain four dates in a single week. While this will make his life awfully painful during the week, he sucks it up and decides to pursue all four.
Here’s the problem. Over the long-term person 1 is going to end up losing a few notches. Maybe the Thursday night date is a bust and no one can make it, while person 2 sees a couple of extra successful notches. The difference? Person one is building the correct mindset, he only spends his free time on dates. If no one can make it that Thursday or Saturday, it does not matter. He can simply try to meet new people at the venue. He is there for a positive reason in the first place.
3) Interactions in Transit: The difference between a well run life and a poorly run life is your ability to change gears in transit. Looking at two examples again, you can quickly see that a small change will add up to several hundred hours of saved time and headaches.
Person 1: He sees the green light from his career/business and does not want to lose momentum. In addition, he does not want to become a career drone. Instead, he remembers to constantly socialize. He goes to healthy restaurants and grocery stores. Instead of blocking off time to meet people during the day he is simply meeting them… during the day. Going to the grocery store and spending 30 minutes picking up items instead of 20 minutes is not a huge time loss if he finds someone to be attractive.
Person 2: While his career and business is doing well, he could certainly spend more time improving both of them. Instead, he has created a bad habit. He needs to block off time slots to approach and meet new women. Instead of improving his ability to control his state, he has to rev himself up every single day to simply go and meet girls at night or during the day. There is no other reason to leave the apartment.
This seems like a small change, but it adds up quite a bit over time. Maybe person 2 will meet more people by blocking off chunks of time to socialize… but is it worth it? By creating this habit, you’re practicing incorrectly. Your personality will not develop and you won’t be in a social mood 24/7/365. Person 1 will win again.
4) Phone Calls and Text Messages: There are general rules on how long to wait before sending a message or calling a person. Take all of those rules and throw them in the garbage. While many of them will help in terms of timing, doesn’t it make more sense to actually have other items to respond to?
Person 1: He is aware of zero timing rules. He takes care of all important tasks first: 1) clients, 2) chores and 3) investments. At this point, he simply picks up the phone and calls. If he has time to talk for more than 5 minutes he calls and if he does not he settles for a text message.
Person 2: He knows all of the rules. He knows the exact time to send messages at all times and does not have any other things to attend to. His hit rate is equal to or slightly better than person 1.
Take a step back. Which makes more sense? Who would you rather be? It should be clear. You want to be person number 1. Why would you prefer to fake being busy to actually having a busy schedule? It does not make sense.
5) Feeding the Ego: You’re constantly sending photos of your new girlfriends, notches or +1’s. You’re trying to rack up more numbers to appease the expectations of other people or your own ambitions. Again, you have to ask the mature question… What is the point?
Person 1: After a few years of meeting several women, he has no interest in impressing his friends with his new girlfriends or notches. He realizes his “9/10″ is another man’s “7.5/10″. He simply dates around and is confident that he won’t go through enormous dry spells since his life is busy (interacting consistently with new people). He realizes that once a good baseline level of game is established he can simply meet a new prospect over the course of a couple of weeks at worst and in a couple of days at best.
Person 2: After hitting a notch count of 20+ in a single year he is trying to best his previous year and get to 30… then to 40… then to 50+… The interest in improving his abilities is admirable.
Looking again at these two people it should be clear that person 2 is going to lose a significant amount of time. In addition, anyone with a lot of experience would begin to question the quality resulting from the level of effort put forth by person 2.
Even if we assume that quality is exactly the same for person 1 and person 2. There is no plausible way that person 2 is spending less time on meeting women than person 1. Who are you trying to impress? Do you obtain anything beyond a quick rush like a drug addict? The answer is going to be no.
Concluding Remarks: No one lives a perfect life. Unless you’re in the 9+ figure net worth range. However. If your life is being negatively impacted – health, income, new experiences, connections etc… It is time for a change. Check your own results and ask the harder questions.
Is my life getting better or is it getting worse?
What am I losing by living my current life?
If you can answer both of these questions honestly and with positive answers, you likely passed the quiz.
