With this “one bizarre trick” you will always be happy!… Alright… bad affiliate marketing joke. The truth is that consistent happiness is going to take years of work. Not weeks. Not months. Years. As we have mentioned in the past the goal is to live a balanced life and if you are unhappy this means that your life is out of balance. We are 100% certain that this is an important topic since the most commonly clicked on link is “A Guide to Rational Living” which talks about overcoming depression.
Outline below:
1) Why it is Normal to Feel Unhappy When You’re in Your Early 20s
2) How to Strategically Fix Your Life and Become in Balance
3) Avoiding Junk Reading and Why We Don’t Post Much
4) Avoiding Hero Worship
5) Continuing to Progress Once You’ve “Made it”
As usual, if you already understand a section based on the headline alone… Don’t read it.
1) Why it is Normal to Feel Unhappy When You’re in Your Early 20s
We get a ton of emails. We get so many emails that we *rarely* respond and only allow comments. Most of the questions? Surround happiness and imbalance… The problem with a lot of these emails and questions is that it is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early 20s
Anyone who says otherwise is likely an older *boy* who is passing on his insecurities to you. “If I was your age I would be thrilled to be alive! I would do….”. Congratulations, you’ve met a retard. Full retard. Smile, nod, agree and ignore. All of these older people who claim that they would be thrilled to trade places with you *without any actionable advice* are all insecure morons. The worst part? They probably make $150K a year and have the audacity to give life advice. What a joke. If the person cannot give you actionable steps to improve your well being starting *right now*, you should ignore him completely.
Here is why it is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early twenties.
Distance: The person you want to become and the person you are today are far, far, far apart. The person you want to become seems to be on a different planet and this causes a lot of *frustration* because you want to improve rapidly. The problem? Improvement is never linear. This is exactly why you should only make self to self comparisons. Do not compare yourself (today) to the person you want to be in 20 years. This is not fair to you and your psyche. Compare yourself to who you were *last year* and see what happened. If you didn’t improve drastically, you know you’re taking advice from the wrong people.
Social Life Issues:Here is a fun fact. Most people who read this blog (ones that will eventually succeed) likely have very few friends right now (introverted)! Bet you weren’t expecting that. Why? If you are doing the opposite, then you are going to ostracize yourself quite a bit from “regular people”. You’re going to watch as many people party hard (hook-up) while you focus significantly more on building a business or pursuing a career (or both!).
Low Value: In the eyes of society, just like a brand new bottle of wine, you’re not going to matter much. You’re just getting started. Everyone is telling you that they are “jealous of your youth” and yet you’re actually going to be jealous of the people who already have what you want! It’s a conundrum. People are yelling in your face that they wish they were your age. But. Society doesn’t care about you. There is nothing you can do to reverse your value in a short period of time. Instead of dwelling on this fact, simply go out and find *actionable information* to fix your issues.
Money: Even if you get an investment banking analyst job paying ~$150K a year… You’re going to be broke. As we have explained many times in the past, no one gets rich making $200K a year and no one ever will. While this sounds like a lot of money to a person who is still in college… Anyone who has actually succeeded in life and is aspiring for more, knows that it is nothing.
The Truth Hurts: Finally, the *biggest reason* for being unhappy in your twenties is exposure to the truth. Smart people consistently look for the truth and you go through huge amounts of frustration when you recognize reality for what it is. You cannot change reality. You realize the following truths: 1) Six figures is nothing, 2) your college degree was practically useless, excluding maybe 3-5 courses, 3) real life is significantly harder than college, 4) girls do not like younger men (don’t worry, it gets better as you close in on 30), 5) everyone and their mom is trying to prevent you from going up the ladder because *no one likes to see someone below them exceed them*. That is a lot of harsh truths to swallow. A LOT. The only thing you can do is change your strategy. Realize the truth for what it is and grind. You will be rewarded in about 5-10 years not 2-3 years.
Concluding Remarks: It is normal to be unhappy/frustrated in your early 20s. Everyone is lying. Your colleagues are going to load up photos of their posh lives (on credit) hook ups on “tinder” (photoshop) and do everything in their power to make you feel insecure. Here’s a tip. Know they are lying.Simply ignore all of it and amplify their comments back to them. “Congrats I’m glad things are going well! (smile, nod)” and move on with your life. It is going to take an immense amount of discipline and self restraint to follow the rules outlined on this blog which is exactly why we give it away for free. 99.9% of people won’t follow through and would rather “read about success” than do what it takes to actually succeed. The choice is yours.
*Note: For a pro-tip, start referring to times when you’re frustrated/unhappy as “annoyed” you’ll find that your word choice will temporarily change how you feel. As your life improves, you’ll find it easier to remain in a state of happiness. We simply used the words frustrated and unhappy because this is how most people will describe their current state.
2) How to Strategically Fix Your Life and Become in Balance
Now that we’ve destroyed the myth of being happy all the time in your early 20s (if you’re not grinding and pushing your limits… you won’t succeed), lets move onto the more important topic of how to actually fix your issues. As always… No action steps = waste of time.
We have mentioned that the most important items in your life are as follows: Health -> Money -> Friends/Relationships. This order is 100% true. You can only make money and have friends if you are healthy. If you have a lot of money… you have time to make more friends and establish relationships. On the flip side… If your health declines rapidly… You will likely lose both money and friends. Your money goes to fixing your health and your relationships falter as people are *busy* and the world does not revolved around you. Period.
Health: First of all, you should not sleep 8+ hours per day. This is complete BS. A rule created by mediocre people who haven’t accomplished anything. Throw this in the trash. You do not need more than ~6 hours of sleep on average when you’re under 25 because your body can take an immense amount of stress. As you get older, you won’t be able to do this, but an all night work-a-thon here and there is not going to harm you… At all.
With that myth broken down, here’s a high level way to think about fixing your health. 1) maintain a healthy diet, 2) have a solid exercise schedule and 3) begin eliminating stress *after* you achieve your financial goals.
We rarely use the word must. But. You absolutely must have a healthy eating and exercise routine. No exceptions.
Since this is an overview post here are some clear steps to fixing your health: 1) get into juicing – read Mike Cernovich’s book on juicing right here (No affiliate, we don’t have the time to set it up, we read it and it’s great), 2) stop stressing about things you cannot control – you will always feel bad if you think you can control the uncontrollable… stop it!, 3) exercise at minimum 5 days a week, we have a full 7 day a week schedule because it sets the bar higher and will likely result in people exercising for 5 days, 4) get more money… the more money you have the lower your anxiety levels and 5) stop taking health advice from people you don’t want to look like.
That should cover the high level actionable advice. If you’re juicing, eating healthy, working out and seeing your investments grow at rapid rates… Your health will improve. Finally, please do not “stress out” if you miss a workout or you can’t juice for a day (life gets in the way 10-20 times a year). That defeats the entire purpose of eating healthy and working out.
Money: Stop reading “about” money and only read actionable advice about getting money. If you’re one of those people who follows the Instagram account of a rich celeb such as Dan Bilzerian, you’re pathetic. A complete and utter loser. Trying to *associate* with someone who is living the life is like wearing a sports jersey. You are not getting any closer to becoming an “MVP” by wearing that jersey. Stop trying to win by association. This is how losers operate.
Instead.
You are going to find your talents. You’re going to do this the HARD way. You are going to try a bunch of stuff utilizing the power of 1% and you’re going to see what you have a “knack” for. Maybe you’re a great chef… then you need to create a business after 5-7 years of working in the restaurant industry. Maybe you are a fantastic fiction writer… Get to work on that first book. So on and so forth.
Now. Once you know exactly where your talents lie… Start marketing/branding your talents. Help a winner become even more successful. Reiteration. Help a winner become even more successful.
If you truly have a knack for a topic, we’ll draw the line at top 5% in your industry/space, then you will find a way to add value to the guys in the top 1% or 0.5%. No doubt about it. Instead of spamming your “heroes” (more on this later) you are going to find a way to expand his/her bottom line. This is the path to success. Once you can successfully improve the business of the elite, you will now have an *opportunity* to succeed. Emphasis on opportunity.
The true elite will happily give you a shot if you show your worth. But. Nothing is given away for free. Stand in the limelight and do everything in your power to succeed.
There is a clear point here. If your money is not “in balance” then you need to de-emphasize other areas of your life and start going through our clear posts on how to make money (business or career).
Friends/Relationships: For some reason… Young people in their twenties think that successful people have hundreds of friends that they talk to *all of the time*. As usual… Complete BS.
Successful people have a laundry list of friends that they connect with on *rare* occasions. How can you possibly have your health and money together if you’re spending 20+ hours a week talking to your friends about “life”? Not possible. This is what gossipy women do. They chit chat all day about what is going on around them. No one succeeds like this. You will have a group of people you talk to in order to grow your sales/business and then you will have a laundry list of contacts that you speak to on an “off and on” basis.
Secondly, your sex life is going to be directly proportional to 1) your value as a man + 2) your time commitment to meeting new women. You know our rules. Two days a week of night life is more than enough (Thursday/Saturday).
Think about it. If you know that your value as a man and your time commitment to “pick up”, are the only factors to achieve success with women… what’s the best *long-term solution*? The best long-term solution is to become a high value man. You cannot change the number of hours in a day.
Spending 40 hours a week day gaming and night gaming to pick up girls at the expense of your overall value is… insane. Unless you plan to make a living off of “pick up”, you are going to become a deranged person.
Concluding Remarks: Prioritize correctly. Health -> Money -> Friends/Relationships. If you are lacking in one of these categories (severely) you are going to become unhappy. This is why you can find people who have 50+ girls a year that are unhappy (usually broke) and guys who have $1M + that are also unhappy (usually terrible with women). Stop and address the issue. Remember. The order of priorities are the same…If you end up having $1M+ and a fit body… You really need to work on your social skills if you are unhappy. Take time off and work on it.
*Note: Another fun pro-tip. We found a great video from Good Looking Loser on skin care. It has actionable advice so it deserves a shout-out here and an embedded video. It is legit. We tried his skin care guide over the last 3 months and the results are showing… One note, we use cage free egg whites out of a box, didn’t see any difference compared to cracking them yourself. Saves time, and of course we don’t care about $1 in extra cost. No one should.
3) Avoiding Junk Reading and Why We Don’t Post Much
This section is also going to piss off a lot of people… A LOT of people. Just because you are reading something doesn’t mean you’re learning anything *applicable*.
Information overload is legitimate and it is taking place all over the world. As we’ve said before, if the blog post or book does not have anything actionable in it… you should chuck it into the trash can (beating a dead horse). You should have a 90% action 10% consumption mentality. Reiteration. 90% action, 10% consumption.
Example 1: Lets say you just got your first investment banking bonus of $70K. You want to reward yourself with a trip to Latin America next year. Perfect. You read the post we just linked to and then you get to work. Notice… If you do not have plans to ever visit Latin America… Then there is no need to read the post! We realize this is negative and will likely decrease page views to the post but it does not matter. If you don’t need the information then why are you reading it?!
Example 2: Lets say you want to get into Wall Street. Great. You should absolutely stick around, read our investment banking Q&A and go through all of our Wall Street posts. The Catch? Do not read a post that does not pertain to you. It does not make sense to read our post on office politics if you have not even obtained an internship on Wall Street… correct? Correct again! Be honest about where you are in your career or business and read the posts that pertain to your situation.
Example 3: Reading for motivation. Get out and never come back to this blog. We have ended those posts forever. You should be able to give motivational speeches not be on the receiving end of emotional non-sense.
Example 4: Wasting the time of successful people with irrelevant questions after reading a post that does not pertain to you. If you are reading a post on how to get a low interest rate on a mortgage (Financial Samurai) but you are not going to purchase a home/apartment in the next 6 months… Get a life. Do not waste time by asking questions if you are not at that level yet. Everyone gets burned.
With the examples out of the way you should take a hard look at what you are consuming. Where are you today? Where do you want to be? Now choose a few select posts to read and keep track of information that you find valuable.
News flash. Anything that makes you *feel* something is not useful. Feelings are for people who want to be entertained.
4) Avoiding Hero Worship
We’re getting closer to the finish line. You have read the first three sections and have a written down *game plan* of what you need to improve upon. If you are unhappy but rich… you have clearly circled “game” as a top priority. If you are doing well with women, have money and are suffering from back pain… Health is now a screaming number 1 priority. So on and so forth.
With the priorities out of the way you’re only reading for *actionable* advice and have cut out the useless blogs/books. If it is not giving you anything you can actually use, you’re not going to take the click bait.
Now… onto the avoidance of hero worship…
There are several solid blogs and books out there. It is absolutely fantastic to keep in touch with those authors and make sure you build a relationship so they answer your questions for you in the future. But. These authors are human beings and they are not immune to ups and downs in life. Do not beg for “retweets”, “page links”, “promotions” etc. Earn it yourself (money section 2 of this post). Once you earn your keep by delivering *value*, when you ask for signaling of a new product or special post people are going to happily oblige. Delivering no value and begging for promotions because you have been a “long time follower” is retardation.
Deliver value and signal when important issues arise.
There is a huge trend where people are thirsty for approval from their mentors. This is not healthy.
Stop sucking up and start moving up.
Everyone reading this blog is going to be talented at *something*. Find that talent. Build that career or business. When you’re getting traction, reach out and flag it when one of your “heroes” has a problem in the same space. Since we like examples, here’s a great one.
Example: You are a fantastic style consultant. You find that one of your “heroes” (see guy who has helped you in the past with his blog/book) is going on television for the first time. *Opportunity to shine*. You reach out to this person and you say you’ve been a style consultant for 5+ years. You then help him with his wardrobe for free and *boom* he is happy to send new business your way for the next several years! That is how it is done. (this may or may not be a real life example, wink wink)
Concluding Remarks: No one is a hero. Everyone fails in life. If you are gaining value from a specific person, keep them in mind as you build out *your own dreams* not a “copy cat dream”. When you are following your own path and find your own niche, the opportunities are going to arise over time and you can build a much better relationship that way.
5) Continuing to Progress Once You’ve “Made it”
The final frontier. You have it all. So you *think*. You’re healthy well off and you have no problems socially. What else is left? The answer is giving it all away (no we don’t mean the money which you can give away when you’re dead)
People keep asking us, why are you giving away all this information. Most people charge for interview guides, they charge for the finance advice you guys know and they charge tons of money for your sector overviews. The answer is simple, philanthropy is best served through results.
Everyone else believes that giving money away is the best way to improve a person’s life. It is not. We’re happy to donate money here and there but whenever you donate money without the person earning it? You end up creating a person who is reliant instead of *self-reliant*. Homeless people get money all the time and yet they end up on the same street corner 3 years later.
We teach self reliance.
Finally, for those that are wondering why we’ll end up selling a product… Two reasons. 1) for fun, to prove that we can and 2) psychologically people realize a paid for product will be even better than the blog.
Conclusions and TL;DR Version: Our posts are much longer in length (an average of roughly 3,500 to 4,000 words nowadays) and if you’re smart you probably want a summary of the actionable steps to become happy. Below are the tiers, clearly laid out since a lot of description was given.
1) When you’re young, being frustrated (annoyed) is a *normal part of life*. You are in transition and you are going to go through the pain to improve. Embrace the pain. Don’t complain.
2) People are unhappy when their life is not in balance which is primarily related to health -> money -> friends/relationships.
3) Find your imbalance and shift your time to that activity (summary of each piece in the section 2)
4) Stop reading junk you don’t need. Don’t read a post on how to take a company public if you don’t even have a business. Don’t ask about “hiring a sales team” if you haven’t even sold 10,000 units. You’re wasting time. Mental masturbation.
5) Stop sucking up and start moving up. Find a way to add value to a person’s life and he/she is going to help you as well. This is how life works. This is why the rich get richer and you should be *happy that this is the case*. If you’re not trying to suck up then you’re going to move up the stack in a *non-linear* fashion.
6) When you are truly excellent at a task, you can begin giving it all away. This is far down the road. When you have everything you want you should teach the basics without ruining your life. You’ll be happy when all of the successful emails come in. If anyone is counting we have now cleared over 100+ acceptances into Wall Street (still 100% placement ratio from non-targets that we have specifically worked with.)
—–
There you have it. The truth about being happy is that you need to enjoy the process and it definitely DOES get easier. We realize the “tone” here is not “happy” because that is not reality. You have to *earn* happiness just like anything else in life. Ten years later? You’ll only care about one thing.
