Since my mind is aging rapidly and I believe I am turning into a dinosaur at a relatively young age it usually takes quite a bit for me to become “shocked”. With this said it is currently 8 months into the year and I’ve finally been shocked for the first time in the entire year. “Shock Value” is what I frame as “something that makes you change or solidify an opinion in a single spark event”. Some shock value situations below:
Investment Thesis – Girls Are Dirt and Can Fuck Like Rabbits
Cheating Girlfriends: One girl I had been hooking up with on the regular had a boyfriend. I suffered from “shock” the next week when we were having dinner with friends, myself, her and the boyfriend. She acted as if we had nothing to do with each other, I took my cue and we made it very “obvious” we were just friends. The acting abilities of women are amazing, by the end of the night they assumed she thought I was a regular Joe. Of course the boyfriend continued to hover around her like flies around shit. Circa 2008 – Women Are The Best Liars
Rough Sex: By the time my shit was together I had met a few girls who hinted at wanting more “aggressive” sex. Having fun with it for a while turned into pure stupidity. Girls yelling “I like it rough”, “Pull my hair harder”, “Fuck me harder”, “Make it hurt” and “Hit me!” The last one was the most disturbing as I’ve come to see many girls actually enjoy being choked and slapped viciously hard across the face. The classic of course “I like men who have their way with me”. Early 2009 – Women Enjoy Being Dominated
Fat Girls: Naturally, being good with women and what guys and the universe call spitting “game” entails simply talking to a bitch and making her like you even if you’re slightly less attractive. Big whoop. Problem? Fat bitches think they can spit game at men. Solution? Assholes like me will not allow the whale to inflate her ego. I’m no fucking hero, I’ve fucked an uggo before and it was not pleasant. So one day I saw a class act guy almost going home with a fat fuck. Yelling at the top of my lungs I chased him down with an umbrella in the rain, Mary Poppins Style, and smashed him across the shoulder as he was getting into the “lets go fuck yellow cab on 6th street”. Two significant changes occurred. The good, we are like brothers now. The bad? Fat bitches have fat friends… fat big sumo fucking guy friends, I got my ass handed to me. I’m now 35 pounds heavier. Late 2009 – Weight Room and Even Fat Bitches Can Get Dick
Married Women: One buddy of mine, a fellow Wall Street Playboy to boot, is attractive. Handsome for sure as his skill-set surpasses mine 10 fold. Walking up to girls and taking them home within minutes and make outs within seconds. Pure good lookedness. No hate from me his personality is off the chain as well. Problem? He has helped me see too much. Some examples include, 1) I took off my ring “for the night”, 2) “quick give me your phone before my boyfriend gets back” – call me for fun (wink, wink), 3) “lets go to a new venue just you and me” (to get away from friends so I can go fuck you without my friends knowing). Circa 2010 – Every $10K on That Ring is 10 Guys She Will Fuck When You’re Not Looking
Women on Vacation: One hard fast rule that many people say is, when you travel it is easier to have sex! After extensive travel and hitting on extremely high numbers of women from Europe, to Asia, to South America to whatever the fuck country you want, leaving your home base puts you at a disadvantage. Unless you’re fishing with a “hook” you’re ass is not getting laid unless you bring some serious Nintendo level game and bank roll to give the illusion that you live in that city. Bless your soul. The shock value? One summer a severe liver pain hurt me from likely drinking too much so I was forced to avoid alcohol for months, on anesthetics it was like being “tipsy”. Strolling around chatting people up a tourist came by and we got to chatting. 45 minutes later boozing at my place and sex ensued. Circa 2011 – Tourist Sex is the Easiest and Doctors Lie About Alcohol with Many Medications
Private School Girls: One other thing about private schools is that they are usually slightly harder to get into and have a douche bag feel to them. Coincidentally, there were a few dudes who had the majority of the sex. The question was, were these bitches just prudes and stuck up or were they actually getting a second source of sex? Many years later, the conclusion is simple, rich girls also have cash… that cash lends itself to partying… lends itself to going out… where the professionals are. One day having run into a banging girl an 8.5+ in my book, I figured there is no way this bitch is going to be taken home. A classic “You trying to get me drunk?” turned into “Of course I am! Black Out or Go Home!”… Previous thesis on Private School Girls broken, investment thesis in tact. Circa 2011 – Private School Girls Are the Easiest for the Working Professional – They’ve Been Taught That They Are “Mature” and “Must Trade Up”
Combinations: That’s really the only way to describe the second layer of shock. Seeing the above you’d have to blind side me with a combo of the above to shock me. The occurred. The Set Up: 1) Meet at Day Time Venue, no alcohol, exchange numbers, 2) Tourist girl (see thesis above), and 3) Single date bang. Ahh yes thesis in tact, girls are all the same…
We have a couple of more hook ups. More contact exchanging some life stories and other bullshit tid bits, leaving soon so who gives a shit? This is an ideal candidate as it’s a month long “mini” relationship, something that was likely leave both of us happy, we hook up, hang out, laugh, drink, dance etc. No downside….. orrrrrrrrr is there?!
Encounter number … Fuck maybe 7. More life story shit going on and then… lets cut to the chase. “I’ve got a boyfriend of 5 years”. Average man would show emotion, those have left me long ago in this category. Having serious questioning in my mind, I decided to play one last check. Slipping my thumb across her left ring finger to see if there was make up that ended up on thumb to confirm what I now believed was a “ring” line. Similar to someone who always wears a wedding band. Confirmed.
As she walked away, eyes tearing up and the streaks beginning down her eyes. Instead of ruining the situation I replied with a classic “You know, if I were in your shoes and lived your life I would make the same decisions. No judgement from me.” If we fuck again we fuck again, if we don’t we don’t. Thesis in tact.
Circa 2012 – Dear Man Who Chose This Woman, You’re Inept. Women Will Only Have Emotional Conversations to Rationalize Past Actions
I can’t wait till the next revelation, it’s going to be a good one.
