Over the last year we’ve had a chance to take a look at many blogs in the man-o-sphere and there are a multitude of recurring issues we disagree with so we’ll go ahead and place them all here within a single post. Primarily the issues revolve around hypocrisy, entitlement, negativity and outright racism.
1) Trading Up: For one reason or another everyone thinks they deserve a “10”. You can be a college student, a struggling working professional or a successful businessman, everyone wants a model. While this is fine on its surface, that you want to get a stunner, you should not complain about girls hoping to trade up as well. This is pure hypocrisy.
You have to hold yourself to the same standard as the women you attempt to date. If you’re always looking for the better deal (IE: moving from a 7 to an 8) don’t be surprised if the girl you are dating is doing the exact same thing. If you’re going into an interaction knowing that you’ll be looking sideways the entire time, you do not deserve to be treated like a king and should expect that she will treat the relationship in the same way you do.
2) Burning Women: This is another tough one for most men in the game to swallow, if you’re going to live the life of a lothario you should be honest about your intentions. If a girl is becoming emotionally attached to you and you are being dishonest about your intentions, lying to her telling her you’ll stick around, then you are in fact damaging both your personality and hers. Instead you should hold yourself to a higher standard, by being entirely honest.
If you have no intentions of being in a serious or long-term relationship you should be blunt about this and relay the message to her. You do not need to harm people in order to live a fun and single life. Notably, this will certainly happen from time to time since timing is never perfect, but this should remain in the back of your mind at all times.
3) You Can’t Learn From Women: This is one of the most absurd comments and themes in the sphere by far. Many men run around saying that you can never learn anything from a woman and yet you look at their bank account and compare it to many working professional women and they will immediately know their spot. This applies to dating as well, while it is true the vast majority will not have any interest in helping you become a player, what have you done to enhance her life lately? We will guarantee you even a woman can help you if you deliver true value to her life.
While men and women are certainly wired differently, to say nothing can be learned from 50% of the population is embarrassing. Much harder to look in the mirror and ask what value you have really delivered to a woman lately. Likely nothing.
4) Racism: There are a few popular player blogs that have turned to racial dumps. Racism is a form of mental weakness. To have a hierarchy, to believe that a subset or population is better or worse than you for reason X or reason Y is simply pushing your belief system onto the world and you should check yourself before you make such statements. While it is true that stereotypes exist, it is better to think of race on a flat basis, that we all look different and we should combat negative stereotypes intelligently while enhancing our positive ones.
Notice what this does.
This means that both the extreme racism of the past and even your professors teaching Ethnic Studies are in the same camp. They have no solutions. Instead they spend their time pointing out the racial dynamics making any existing tension worse. Observations are not solutions. You can tell a white man that he is privileged but that is not going to stop him from working hard. You can tell a minority he is disadvantaged but all that will do is encourage him to quit because he now believes the world is against him… which causes self doubt. There is no point in these debates as they offer nothing to fix the situation. You should be cognizant of these dynamics and carefully choose the content you read as racism is a disease that is difficult to cure. Avoid surrounding yourself with such people at all costs.
5) America Sucks: It’s certainly fun to joke around about the problems in America from time to time, however if you’re in this country you better make the best of it. Last time we checked this is one of the best, if not the best, country to make money. What is there to truly complain about? If you have to date women who are a “point below” what you can get abroad in exchange for lifelong freedom and improved health, you’re complaining about nothing.
Guys seem to have the long-term plan messed up in the United States. You should not be taking one or two week fun vacations you should hit the exit button for good once you have earned the right to leave. Immigration to the United States still far surpasses emigration, hinting that you should zero in on the positives about being an American. Cash, High Technology Innovation and Access to Opportunity. On a relative scale, the USA is one of the best if not the best on all three of those items.
6) Worship and Hatred: Having a role model is good, worship is not. The difference between worship and role models is the ability to have a differentiated opinion. You can have a role model for game, for money, for athletics but they do not always have to be the same single source. In addition, always be open to meeting new people who are superior to your current role model in every aspect of life.
Hatred on the other hand is your inability to pull a positive trait from an accomplished person. Generally speaking you will not get along with everyone you meet, even the president has a 50% approval rating, however you need to separate your emotions from results. As an example in-line with point three, if you meet Marissa Mayer you’re the fool if you’re unable to look past your negative opinions on learning from women and decide to ignore all of her advice. Last we checked people are willing to pay $90K for a simple lunch with her and there is not a single reader of this blog who can match that level of accomplishment nor a single reader who would learn nothing from her.
This wraps up our current view on the sphere and it will likely change in the future, but as we progress we would like to remind everyone to be careful when falling into these negative mindset traps that are currently circulating around the manosphere.
